Yes, I am okay

I would like to thank everybody for reading my blog. I know a few of you have mentioned to me that with the posts I've been sharing, it may seem that I am in a bad place. I want you to know, that I am fine. I'm delving really deep into the idea of contentment. While I do this, I am trying to share as openly and honestly as I can. Who knows? Maybe this isn't the right forum for it, but I'm not one to stop something once I've started.

Part of yoga is delving deeply into oneself. I know this often is not related in a yoga class, but is a deeper part of the practice if you're willing to try. That is merely what I am attempting to do. I'm trying to dive a little deeper into the ethical principles and observances of yoga. I am generally a very contented person, but everyone has bad days or times of transition. Your concern moves me and I appreciate it very much. 

Thank you again for thinking of me, and for reading my blog. See you soon.

Interesting day

As I continue on my journey with Santosa, every day brings something new. Some days are great, some days are not. Part of me wonders if my magnifying glass on contentment makes things that way. Yesterday I found myself completely wrapped up in the negative. I let the things around me that were bothering me completely take over. All in all, a bad day.

So this morning I went right back to my current favorite book, the Yamas and Niyamas. I find that on my journey with contentment, it has been such a great tool. When I find myself really struggling with the idea of contentment it has some wonderful words of wisdom. Today I flipped right to the Santosha chapter and found some advice.

One section of the book talks about emotional disturbances. Basically this section discusses how we should not let out emotional disturbances take over our lives. For example, what other people say, how other people offend us, or how other things or situations offend us.

I found myself yesterday being bothered by the silliest things. Anything from a past conversation to the noise in my own home. It's so funny, once we find ourselves taken over by one emotional disturbance, they all come to the forefront. 

What really stuck out to me from the book was a Japanese proverb the author shared. "The noise does not disturb you, you disturb the noise." The way I took this is, when we fight against what life gives us, when we battle with what is, we are the ones disturbing life. What an interesting idea.

This is not to say that there are things in life we should avoid. This is also not to say that there are bad things in life we should just accept. This is saying that our emotional disturbances themselves are the brains reaction to what is going on. Sometimes we need to listen to that, and make the correct changes. Other times, we need to evaluate what the brain is actually making us feel. We waste too much time being upset, we waste too much time being offended by our situation. Sometimes we just need to move forward.

Mornings have Broken

So, I have tried to focus my efforts in beginning my day on a positive note. I have to say that it has created a marked visible change. I feel much more positive during the day. 

Here were my big morning issues:

1. I was waking up every morning later than my original intent. I wanted to get up earlier and practice, but I just could not commit myself to it. This left me feeling guilty and frustrated. My solution: make time to practice later in the day. My day is already long, making it longer was making me tired and groggy. Now I wake up without guilt, without being upset.

2. I was prepping myself for a bad day. The stuff that makes me upset during the day does not need to take over my morning. My morning is valuable me time, why not keep it that way. 

The change in morning attitude has been wonderful - now onto tackling the rest of the day.