I love food. I love to eat. I do know, however, that I need to look to my body and at my body as though it were a temple. I, like so many other Americans, find it difficult to cherish our bodies when it comes to food: what foods we eat, the amount, and the attachment to it. I know that I am very attached to food. When I am bored or nervous, I look to food. When I want to escape the reality of a situation, or am faced with a challenge that I am afraid of, I turn to food for comfort.
I know that I need to look at food differently. I am continuing to define my relationship with food. Over the past few years, I have begun to look differently at the way I eat. I no longer eat meat and I have learned to look at food preparation as something holy or sacred. I enjoy the food that I prepare myself, much more than foods that are prepackaged or made by other hands. I can appreciate it more, and I know that I prepared the food with good intentions and love.
I do, however, realize that this struggle is all about willpower. BKS Iyengar says that we have to let "the intelligence and the soul make the true dicision, for this is where real willpower and real dedication are found." I know that the decision to gorge does not come from intelligence. In fact, I am certain that it is coming from old habits, fear, and issues that I have with my body (that I perhaps feel I need to self sabotage or create some self-fullfilling prophesy to sabotage my will).
I am writing this after lunch, still craving. Let's give this willpower a try!